Monday, January 02, 2006

2006 Entertainment News

Instead of New Year's Resolutions, I thought I would share things I would like to see happen in the entertainment industry in 2006:

Olivia Newton John's boyfriend will be found. He has been secluded in an undisclosed location writing Zanna Don't, the sequel to Xanadu. (10 point for anyone who can relate this back to Queen Eye for the Straight Guy)

The Spice Girls will finally put aside their differences and do a reunion tour to benefit Tragically, Scary Spice, (the lone holdout on the abortive reunion for Live 8) is killed when her platform shoes break in mid jump, and she crashes into a speaker.

Bob, Ted, Carol and Alice will be remade with Brad, Vince, Angelina, and Jennifer, better known as Brangelina Vaugniston.

Patti LuPone and Betty Buckley will star in the stage musical 'Whatever Happened to Baby Jane' for Andrew Lloyd Webber. Tempers will flare when they are replaced for the Broadway run by Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. (On a side note, the planned film version is scrapped when stars Barbra Streisand and Bette Midler clash over Barbra's desire to direct the film.)

Stevie will finally write her autobiography and go on a coast to coast booksigning tour. When she graces one of my stores with her presence, she is blown away by my abilities as an event coordinator. I am then hired as her personal assistant.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

ok...first, how dare you use my stage name (Bragelina Vaughniston) in your blog.....second, "Xana Don't" will never fly because Xanadu was a masterpiece (musical on roller could it get better!)..other than that, it should be a great year!